Day 53

Yesterday was exactly 7 weeks. I had felt significantly better the past few days but that didn't last long. Yesterday while I was driving to the computer store I remembered that the last time I was there ~ about 2 months ago ~ I had been with my son, my beautiful son was right there beside me. By the time I arrived I felt a massive clutching pain in my chest, I didn't know if I would make it into the store. I gritted my teeth, went inside, and did what needed to be done. I couldn't get home fast enough.

Last night I went to my first Grieving Parents meeting. I didn't really want to go but I knew it would probably do me some good. There were only 2 other bereaved moms there, and the moderator. Their stories made me feel not so alone, and made me feel a tiny bit better. The world really is a screwed up unfair place and there are many many others also going through a world of pain, trauma, and totally unfair bullshit. I think any help is good help and it is worth at least trying many different things to get better.