The strange thing about grieving is the massive physical toll it takes on my body, I wasn't expecting that. For the first few weeks after he died I would run out of energy for the day after having only been awake for a few hours. I would also forget to eat, forget to bathe, forget everything; because nothing mattered anymore. I am constantly reminded of my son not just by my mind but by my body as well. I have never felt so old in my life. Perhaps it will soon be time to go to the gym again; perhaps that will help. I hope I don't see anyone I know because the fewer people I am around the better. The worse thing by far though is the physical pain I feel in my heart sometimes. Where is my son? Can he see me? I think he can. I can't wait to see him again someday, although I truly think he is seeing me all the time. I love him forever.